


Of Palaces and Ruins

by darkroguephantom



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Crimes & Criminals, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romantic Fluff, seungyoon is a criminal au?, writer!jinwoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-22 07:58:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7426606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkroguephantom/pseuds/darkroguephantom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: The news of Taehyun’s departure has hit me hard and I really needed something happy to cheer me up. I will always support Taehyun and all the other members of Winner. They will always be five to me but I do believe Jinwoo when he said that they will return. I have been a part of the fandom from the days of Seungyoon’s solo debut and the boys mean too much to me. Thank you for reading and I hope you too will keep supporting Winner. I hope that this chapter made you smile a little. I love you, Incles.</p>
        </blockquote>





	1. Before

 

> _**Jinwoo - Before** _

Jinwoo knew he lived a comfortable life. A decent writer with a considerable fortune, he managed to get buy without doing very much at all.

Summers he spent by the lake, surrounded by worlds of his own making. The hot air seemed to lie heavily on his skin. It was an uncomfortable reminder of reality as he worked away at his desk. Sweat slicked hair stuck to his neck as he lived through his characters; living their lives and bearing their burdens.

Late autumn nights by the fire, cooking up stories to entertain the small slices of the world he managed to reach. This was his favorite season to write in; red and yellow leaves falling all around his house provided a landscape for him to dream up stories. The lines between imagination and reality were blurred in the fall air.

Winter evenings in the city, cursing the dark and the cold under his breath while in meetings with the necessary corporate evils of this world. Jinwoo hated having charm all the necessary people and hold his tongue as boards of directors, marketing and what not talked about his life, his worlds and his creations like he wasn’t even there.

Jinwoo was lucky and he knew it. Life was easy but dreary. But there was a constant weight in his chest reminding him that while he was always content, he was never truly happy. He’d find himself staring off into the distance in all seasons; not distracting by imaginary worlds for once but by this unbearable hole in his chest.

He longed for some excitement, some danger, anything that could set his heart racing a little, let blood actually pulse in his veins for once. A nice change would that be from him pounding against the walls of fictional worlds. Jinwoo’s life was safe and he would give anything to for it to be anything but.

Slowly the dark weight took over everything else. Jinwoo couldn’t dream up imaginary worlds anymore. He lost the only lifeline he ever had while slowly drowning in the ocean of his own loneliness.

* * *

 

> **_Seungyoon - Before_ **

 

Seungyoon’s day started when the sun set. The people with normal lives would be settling in their tired old routines: dinner, children, TV. Seungyoon didn’t look down on them. He knew people craved stability, safety. It was human nature. Fuck that, it was animal instinct.

Maybe he was wired wrong but safe never sat well with him. He was what the teachers in school had called ‘troubled’. He had potential, they had said, if only he tried.  The professionals had found plenty of people to blame for Seungyoon’s fuck ups: his dead beat dad, his alcoholic mom, the assholes that bullied him and his ‘artistic’ streak.

He himself didn’t blame anyone. He was just different. Seungyoon lived for empty night streets; jumping on cars and laughing as he smashed street-side trash cans just because he could. He walked among dealers, addicts and smugglers on dark streets boldly, almost cockily, as though they could never do anything to hurt him.

Seungyoon had an uneasy relationship with the others on the wrong side of the law: they tolerated him because he was useful and he stayed out of their way simply because he didn’t care enough to deal with their messes. Perhaps that was just the thing; Seungyoon didn’t care for anyone or anything to ever let it become a permanent part of his life. 

Another day brought another narrow escape. Police scuffles and quick getaways were such a well-versed part of Seungyoon’s life but it never failed to send a thrill down his body. Public nuisance, breaking and entering, vandalism, the charges they tried to pin him down with kept racking up. But by some stroke of miraculous luck, no one could ever seem to actually proof that he was guilty. Seungyoon was too slick, too careful to let anyone get any solid proof that he broke the law.

The police hated him. The gangs wanted him on their side. Law-abiding citizens shamed him. Seungyoon kept his head high and proud through it all. A sly smirk, a dangerous glint was how anyone knew him, if that could be called knowing him at all.


	2. The Meeting

They met on a late winter night in the city. Jinwoo had blown off a meeting, sick to his teeth of his bland life. He had nothing to show his agents anyway, so why bother. Seungyoon was having a quiet night for once, occupying himself with whisky and bitterness instead of wrecking havoc.

Jinwoo slid into the chair next to him. Seungyoon watched, curious. Jinwoo didn’t stand out in the bar’s crowd of sneaky businessmen and opportunistic low lifers, but up close Seungyoon noticed his clothes looked expensive, though undoubtedly simple. Seungyoon’s practiced eye ran over his trim haircut _(expensive salon)_ , the slim watch on his hand _(practical but stylish)_ and the classy drink his hand. Whoever this guy was, he was no low lifer.

On any other night Jinwoo would have been a mark. But tonight wasn’t any other night. Their eyes met and Jinwoo gave him a small smile, almost sly like he knew what Seungyoon had been thinking just moments before. The smile sent electric chills down Seungyoon’s back and he unconsciously moved closer.

“Hey, I’m Seungyoon” he breathed, tilting his head slightly. He looked at Jinwoo again, really looked this time. His eyes ran over Jinwoo’s bright veiled eyes and delicate hands, feeling attraction growing in his chest. It took him by surprise, how this guy had enraptured Seungyoon so quickly. On any other night, Seungyoon would have ignored it and walked away. Tonight, the voices around him were muted by alcohol and Jinwoo seemed to glow unusually bright in the bar’s yellow lights.

“Hi. I’m Jinwoo,” Jinwoo grinned back. He liked this boy, with the shaggy hair and mysteriously quirked lips.

They circled each other like that for a while, asking meaningless questions about the weather and the drinks they clutched in their hands. Jinwoo’s eyes would linger on Seungyoon’s lips and the latter would find he was unable to look away, wondering if Jinwoo’s hair was as soft as it looks. As they flirted, Seungyoon moved closer until his face was only inches away from Jinwoo’s own, the smirk on his lips taunting Jinwoo, daring him to close the distance.

Jinwoo did just that, pressing his lips to Seungyoon’s softly. The kiss was soft and gentle but Seungyoon swayed, his knees weak. His eyes drifted shut and Jinwoo cradled his face softly as he pressed another kiss to Seungyoon’s lips, harder this time. The kiss deepened. Seungyoon’s hands travelled down Jinwoo’s chest, savoring his soft skin and hard chest before wrapping his fingers around the Jinwoo’s hips.

“My place is nearby,” Seungyoon whispered into Jinwoo’s ear. They stumbled out of the bar, laughing and kissing alternately, each one leaving them giddier than before. The stars twinkled coldly from above, as though watching the two boys impassionedly. Jinwoo and Seungyoon drew plenty of stares from others on the streets, but neither of them noticed nor cared. Jinwoo was lost in discovering the elegant curve of Seungyoon’s neck and the softness of his lips. Any shred of logic Seungyoon had left had been washed away by Jinwoo’s insistent kisses.

“This is better than any high I have ever been on,” Seungyoon gasped as Jinwoo nipped softly at his neck. He fumbled with the door of his apartment until finally it clicked open, sending both boys tumbling inside. Moonlight filtered through the window, cloaking Jinwoo in an ethereal light. Seungyoon drank in the sight before him, the boy with pretty eyes and mussed hair pushing down his jacket. Jinwoo’s eyes danced merrily, no longer shielded, as he pressed soft kisses to Seungyoon’s skin. Stumbling onto the bed, their eyes met again and they kissed, slow and deep.

Any other night would have seen Jinwoo asleep and Seungyoon in the streets. But tonight wasn’t like any other night. Tonight, they were together.

* * *

Seungyoon left in the middle of the night. He felt almost ashamed, running away from his own apartment. But Jinwoo would get the message and let himself out, he figured. Seungyoon wasn’t cut out for nights spent snuggled together and sharing breakfasts the morning after. It was easier this way, he told himself. Quick and clean, like everything else in his life always was. Still, he couldn’t resist turning back for one last look before hitting the streets again.

Jinwoo was sound asleep in his bed, bare chest rising and falling almost imperceptibly. His hair lay softly against his head and his lashes were dark crescents against his moonlit skin. Jinwoo looked so peaceful, Seungyoon was tempted to stand there watching him forever. He had been gentle but passionate with Seungyoon earlier, eliciting moans with the softest touch and movement. Seungyoon’s gaze lingered on Jinwoo’s lips, remembering how Jinwoo had bitten them to keep from crying out.

Enough, he told himself. It was better this way.

No complications. That was how Seungyoon liked his life.

* * *

It was late afternoon before Seungyoon could bring himself to go home. He stood staring at his apartment door, almost too scared to enter. What if Jinwoo was still inside? He should have left a note.

Saying what exactly, Seungyoon berated himself. _It was a good fuck, thank you very much. You can go home now._

He hated using those words even to himself. Jinwoo didn’t feel like a casual hook up, although for the life of him Seungyoon couldn’t explain why. Maybe it was his eyes, he mused. Jinwoo had beautiful eyes - bright and inviting, his thoughts so clearly displayed there for Seungyoon to see. Sighing, Seungyoon pushed open the door of the apartment. He stood there for a while, waiting, but no one came. There was barely any indication that Jinwoo had even been there last night.

Disappointment coursed through Seungyoon like an icy river. Seung Yoon was expecting relief but none came to distract him the crushing sight of the empty apartment. Well, what exactly did you expect, he told himself. That he would be waiting after you left with not so much as a goodbye?

Stepping into his room, Seungyoon noticed that Jinwoo did leave his mark after all. The bed was neatly made, so different from the haphazard state Seungyoon usually left it in. A note sat on the pillow, Seungyoon’s name written across it in elegant cursive. He snatched it up eagerly.

There were no words, only a phone number.

Seungyoon smiled.


	3. Staying

“You never called”.

Seungyoon smiled into the depths of the glass he held. He would never admit it out loud but in the past weeks he had frequented the bar almost daily, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jinwoo again. Only a glimpse, he told himself. It wasn’t like Seungyoon wanted to spend more time with him or anything.

But now that the familiar low voice was behind him, mere inches away, a coil of warmth loosened in Seungyoon’s chest. He supposed this was what it felt like to miss someone but it was something never he felt before. But then again, he and Jinwoo barely spent a night together. What they shared couldn’t possibly have been strong enough for him to miss … right?

“Are you going to run off again?” Jinwoo seemed mad to see him, but only slightly. “If you are, I might just leave now and save you the trouble.”

Seungyoon was too proud to tell him how he truly felt so Seungyoon settled for kissing Jinwoo on the lips. Jinwoo responded with an enthusiasm far greater than his words had conveyed. Seungyoon lost himself in the hardness of Jinwoo’s chest, running his fingers through his silky hair. They broke the kiss, breathing hard with their foreheads pressed together. Seungyoon kept his hand on the back of Jinwoo’s neck, feeling Jinwoo’s pulse beat a tattoo against his skin. Jinwoo’s eyes were burning with unheeded desire that Seungyoon knew was mirrored in his own eyes. He wavered for a moment, between his own pride and the lire of Jinwoo’s beautiful, bright eyes. 

Seungyoon gave in reluctantly, a slight shift that gave way to a fall; surrendering into the warmth of Jinwoo’s company and the inviting curve of his lips. 

*

They woke up in each other’s arms, enveloped by the warmth of their tangled bodies. Moonlight filtered through Seungyoon’s windows and danced on Jinwoo’s pale skin. Seungyoon traced the patterns it made on the other boy’s skin, reliving the night before. 

He panicked, realizing he had never shared a night with someone before. It felt like an invitation to come into Seungyoon’s life, to share more of himself with someone that had already touched his heart in ways Seungyoon never experienced. He was supposed to keep people at bay, because closeness meant giving someone else the power to hurt him. That was a privilege Seungyoon never wanted to share. 

But then Jinwoo’s turned and wrapped his arms around Seungyoon and murmured unintelligible words against the nape of his neck. The anxiety subsided and Seungyoon lost himself into the warmth again. 

If he had to lose a piece of himself for this kind of heaven, it was a sacrifice Seungyoon was willing to make. 

*

Morning blasted through the window accompanied with birdsong and sunshine. How rude, Jinwoo thought. For something so frequently associated with calmness and peace you would think mornings would be a little less aggressive.

His eyes opened and Jinwoo found himself a little disoriented. The bare walls around him did not match up with Jinwoo’s memory of his houses. It took him a moment to remember the last night and a rush of giddiness followed. 

Jinwoo glanced to the other side of the bed, expecting nothing but was greeted by the pleasant sight of a thin, lanky boy, still asleep. Seungyoon looked so much younger in the morning light, the sharp planes of his face sharply highlighted. 

“I can’t believe you stayed,” he whispered out loud. He wrapped an arm around Seungyoon again, enjoying the closeness. The weight he had been carrying around lately, the weight of the terrible predictability and loneliness of his life seemed lighter here, beside this enigmatic boy who seemed so flighty, even now Jinwoo could hardly believe he was still here. 

Jinwoo got out of bed slowly, being careful not to wake Seungyoon. He made his way to the bathroom, using his memory of his last visit to guide him. Last time, waking up had been tinged with feelings of hurt and shame. It wasn’t very dignified to wake up in someone else’s apartment, alone – a clear indication that Seungyoon wanted him gone. It had been a blow to his confidence, to say the least. 

He set about making breakfast, using what he could scavenge from Seungyoon’s mostly bare kitchen. There wasn’t much apart from a few satchels of instant coffee, a suspicious looking loaf of bread, eggs and leftover Thai food. Jinwoo managed to scrap together a fairly good breakfast. He contemplated going out to get breakfast but he didn’t want Seungyoon to wake up while he was gone. 

If Seungyoon didn’t leave, he wasn’t leaving either. There was something between them, Jinwoo was sure of it. It only took two nights but Jinwoo felt a pang in his chest at the thought of going back to his empty house. 

*

Seungyoon woke to the smell of cooking which was a bizarre feeling. He was almost too afraid to open his eyes really, though he wasn’t sure if he was more afraid of facing Jinwoo or what anyone could have possibly cooked up in his kitchen.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself out of bed and peered into the kitchen. His heart skipped a beat, taking in the sight of a shirtless Jinwoo fiddling around with cutlery. 

“Uh, good … morning?” Was it still morning? Seungyoon usually woke up well past late o’ clock couldn’t really tell. Jinwoo looked up, his eyes already smiling up at him. 

“It’s 11,” he said with a smile. There was a pause and Seungyoon fidgeted awkwardly. How do people do this? What does one say?

“I made breakfast” Jinwoo continued slowly, his eyes on Seungyoon. Seungyoon suppressed the urge to run out the door again. He wanted this, he knew he decided that last night but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember why right now. 

“Right, why did you do that?” The words came out harsher than Seungyoon wanted it too and he winced at he hurt in Jinwoo’s eyes. “I mean … you didn’t have to. There was barely anything in the house anyway.”

“Yeah well… I wanted to make you something so you wouldn’t bolt again. So I managed.” Seungyoon couldn’t help but smile back at Jinwoo’s playful grin. The awkwardness eased slightly but nervousness still filled the air. Seungyoon tried whatever was on the plate Jinwoo was offering him.

“Wow, that’s fucking amazing.” 

“I have never seen anyone look so terrified while eating breakfast.” Jinwoo laughed. There was another pause, then with a decisive air Jinwoo moved forward. Wrapping an arm around Seungyoon’s waist – causing his heart to skip a few beats- Jinwoo kissed Seungyoon’s cheek firmly. “I am going to take a shower, do you mind if I borrow some of your clothes?”

Seungyoon nodded mutely, the shadow of Jinwoo’s lips tingling on his cheeks. This, this was why he was staying.

Jinwoo left Seungyoon smiling into his breakfast. The air was lighter now and something new seemed to have bloomed among the bare walls of Seungyoon’s apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The news of Taehyun’s departure has hit me hard and I really needed something happy to cheer me up. I will always support Taehyun and all the other members of Winner. They will always be five to me but I do believe Jinwoo when he said that they will return. I have been a part of the fandom from the days of Seungyoon’s solo debut and the boys mean too much to me. Thank you for reading and I hope you too will keep supporting Winner. I hope that this chapter made you smile a little. I love you, Incles.


	4. Furniture

Seungyoon was always quick to adapt. He moved around a lot but nothing ever seemed permanent. As cliché as it sounds, change had always been the only constant for him. But now, Seungyoon had to get used to routines and habits, things he had always looked down on before.

Jinwoo had molded himself into Seungyoon’s life slowly and then, all at once. It started with a drawer of clothes and a toothbrush. The drawer grew into a cupboard, because damn that boy loved his clothes. Without realizing it, Seungyoon found that he had grown used to having two cups of coffee ready on the table in the mornings or whatever time he woke up. It was getting harder to imagine a time when Jinwoo wasn’t always there to call out to him and he pushed the door open.

Maybe it was because Jinwoo seemed to be in his apartment all the time. Seungyoon mused over this for a while. What the fuck, I’ll just ask, he decided. 

“Jinwoo?” 

“Hmmm?” The older boy was examining coat hangers. They were both at IKEA because Jinwoo said he couldn’t live with just tossing his coat on the floor anymore. Yet, another thing Seungyoon thought he would never do. Picking out furniture? Really??

Try as he might, Seungyoon couldn’t muster up more than a mild annoyance at the situation. Admiring the older boy as Jinwoo compared various coat hangers, the slightest of frowns on his face, more than made up for this. 

“Are you freaking out because we are picking furniture? For the fifth time, a coat hanger isn’t furniture. It’s a freaking necessity.” Seungyoon smiled and tried to cut Jinwoo off, to no avail. “Seriously, Yoonie, if I have to clean off the dust of my coat one more time –“

“It’s not that, don’t worry,” Seungyoon wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, chuckling. Jinwoo visibly relaxed. 

“What then?” All of his attention was on Seungyoon now which made Seungyoon squirm slightly. He had always been used to the background, slipping in and out of the line of sight at will. But that won’t work with Jinwoo. He always gave Seungyoon his full attention, fixing those bright, intense eyes on him as though he might just look right into Seungyoon’s soul. He made Seungyoon feel vulnerable and exposed like no one ever did before. 

Maybe that’s why I love him so fucking much, Seungyoon sighed internally.

“I was just wondering …” Seungyoon paused, trying to find the best way to phrase his question. “Don’t you ever get bored? Sitting at home all day, waiting for me to come home and tell you how my day went?”

Jinwoo grinned devilishly. “Is that what you think I do all day? Sit around waiting for my prince to come home?” Seungyoon blushed.

“That wasn’t what I meant!! I – I –“ Goddamnit, he couldn’t form a complete sentence with Jinwoo smiling at him like that.

“Go on, Yoonie. What did you mean?” Jinwoo was distractingly close. His fingers brushed across Seungyoon’s cheek as Jinwoo placed his hand on the wall behind Seungyoon. He was trapped in between Jinwoo’s arms now and they were dangerously close to making out in full view of everyone in the damned store, which Seungyoon was sure, the manager would not appreciate. Jinwoo kept pressing closer, leaning in to nuzzle Seungyoon’s neck. 

“I was just thinking, that, um, if you wanted, you could come out with me sometime. You know, hit the streets and – and stuff,” Seungyoon managed to squeeze the words out but his voice sounded breathy and uneven. 

What? That wasn’t what he wanted to say! Seungyoon never wanted Jinwoo to watch him steal and peddle. Jinwoo might get hurt, or worst, arrested. A deeper part of him realized that Seungyoon didn’t want Jinwoo to realize that he was dating a criminal.

Jinwoo looked up, his eyes wide in surprise at Seungyoon’s words. “Really? You want me to come with you on one of your adventures?” 

Seungyoon raised an eyebrow. Adventures? What? He didn’t get to correct Jinwoo’s words though; his boyfriend was practically tripping over himself in excitement. He wasn’t even interested in making out anymore, Seungyoon noted with some disappointment. These suburban families could have used a good shock. 

“I mean, I have been writing about the stuff you do but being out there with you would be so different. I can’t wait!” Jinwoo was still babbling, pushing their store trolley ahead. Seungyoon, finally taking in Jinwoo’s words, stopped short.

“Wait, you have been writing about me?” The sharpness of his voice startled Jinwoo and he stopped his tirade of excitement.

“Y-yeah, that’s what I have been doing all day. Well, not exactly.” Jinwoo stuttered, his hands suddenly flitting about nervously. He adjusted his coat and ran his hands through his hair, doing everything to avoid Seungyoon’s eyes as he explained. “It’s a collection of short stories and the main character is loosely based around you. I have shown my agent some of the stuff and he liked it. I thought you wouldn’t mind, it isn’t exactly about you. Just some of the stuff you said kinda inspired me and I thought – oh god, are you mad? If you want, I will just toss the whole thing out. It’s fine, really. My block is gone now and I have a few other ideas floating about. Just say the –“

“Jinwoo, Jinwoo, calm down and shut up for a while.” Seungyoon laid a finger on Jinwoo’s lips and he quieted immediately. “Just – just let me think, okay?”

Seungyoon wasn’t exactly sure what to feel. He never imagined that anyone would find him interesting enough to write about. When he voiced the thought out loud, Jinwoo made an involuntary sound of protest. Seungyoon silenced him with a glare again, still mulling over his thoughts.

“The police won’t know it’s me, right?”

Jinwoo laughed. “Are you crazy? Of course, not. It’s not even set in this city.”

Seungyoon fell into silence again, feeling the weight of Jinwoo’s worried gaze on him. He was so sweet, so willing to stop writing something just on the off chance that it might bother Seungyoon. He knew Jinwoo had said that in a panic but the fact that Jinwoo was ready to abandon his work, just like that made something in Seungyoon’s chest soften.

Jinwoo had told him about his lonely writer’s life and the block he had been struggling against. Seungyoon couldn’t deny it made him feel ever-so-slightly important that he had this much impact on Jinwoo’s life.

“This isn’t the only reason you’re dating me, right?” Seungyoon asked, only half-joking.

“Nah, I am with you for the sex.” Jinwoo’s throwaway reply made Seungyoon laugh. 

“Shut up, you idiot,” he grumbled, pressing a firm kiss on Jinwoo’s lips as they headed to check out. 

I love you, Seungyoon thought. I might not be able to say it yet but I do.


	5. The Palace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry

“Can I borrow some of your clothes?” Seungyoon was zipping around the apartment, looking for gods know what. Restless energy emanated from him in waves, his fingers twitching and eyes darting. Jinwoo was laying on Seungyoon’s bed, their bed, his laptop on a pillow, trying to get this story out of his head and onto paper instead. 

“Sure,” Jinwoo hummed. Seungyoon and him weren’t exactly the same size but Seungyoon wears ill-fitting clothes so often it’s hardly noticeable. 

“Okay, good.” Seungyoon, said breathlessly. “That’s good.” He continued zipping around the apartment and Jinwoo finally looked up from his screen, tired of all the pacing.

“Is everything okay?” Jinwoo didn’t get annoyed often but this story was proving to be a bother and Seungyoon’s manic energy was not helping. Seungyoon looked up abruptly, he was sensitive enough to Jinwoo’s voice to know when something was up.

“No,” Seungyoon eyed Jinwoo warily. It’s been a while since he looked at Jinwoo like that. Jinwoo thought they had been together long enough for Seungyoon to trust him completely but it looks like Seungyoon was still holding back.

“What is it?” Jinwoo slid of the bed, his laptop and story abandoned. 

“Nothing, it’s nothing, just a job. I need some of your clothes and I will be back late tonight. Work on your story, you won’t even know I am gone.” Seungyoon spoke deliberately, trying to maintain some semblance of calm but he wouldn’t meet Jinwoo’s eyes. 

“Seungyoon.” 

The younger boy sighed, running a hand through his choppy hair.

“It’s a job. A big job. I haven’t had one of those in while because … “ Seungyoon trailed off, taking a deep breath to calm himself. “I just haven’t had a job like this in a while. And I am nervous, okay?”

“I could come with you, if you’d like,” Jinwoo offered, a slight smile on his face. He had tagged along with Seungyoon on some of his ‘adventures’ as he dubbed them. Nothing major, pick pocketing and passing a package, the contents of which Seungyoon refused to tell him. 

“No,” Seungyoon whirled around, finally looking at Jinwoo. His eyes were wild, unfocused and Jinwoo felt an uneasiness rise up in his chest. 

“Okay,” he raised his hands, like someone on the nature channel trying to calm a wild animal. Seungyoon relaxed a little at his easy agreement. 

“I’m going to the Windsor. There’s an assignment. A big one. Just … don’t worry, okay?” Seungyoon had shrugged on one of Jinwoo’s dinner jackets. That explained the need to borrow Jinwoo’s clothes. Seungyoon’s usual get up of clothes had more holes than fabric would not have gotten him past the door of the 5-star hotel. 

“I won’t.” Seungyoon gave him a shaky smile and left. Immediately, the room seemed emptier, hollow even. 

Jinwoo sat back down on the bed and sighed. There goes any hope he had of completing the story today. He leaned against a pillow, trying to push his worry for Seungyoon out of his head.

The younger boy had seem more antsy that usual lately. Jinwoo thought they were doing well, after the whole furniture thing and Seungyoon willingly taking him out at night. Then, things started to change. 

***

It happened after Jinwoo brought Seungyoon back to his house. Well, he called it a house. Seungyoon called it a ‘mother-fucking mansion’. He just wanted to grab some things, his notes and writing journals. The house was pristine, kept clean by the service he employed but it also felt deserted. It was easy to feel that no one had lived there in a while. Jinwoo didn’t even think of it as home anymore. 

Seungyoon had been quiet the whole time they were there. 

“You okay?” Jinwoo threw him a smile as he dug through a mountain of papers stuck precariously over his desk. 

“Yeah,” Seungyoon replied automatically. “Just … remind me why we live in my tiny apartment again?” 

Jinwoo laughed. “This place is in the middle of nowhere. What would you do if we lived here?” 

Seungyoon nodded thoughtfully, his eyes raking over the oak furniture and ornate decoration. “Right … but you do have an apartment in the city…” 

“You know I hate that place.” Jinwoo had stopped digging and was just looking at Seungyoon now. He was smiling but worry creased his forehead. “What is it, what are you thinking about?”

Seungyoon met his eyes, letting out a breath in a nervous chuckle. “No, nothing. It’s just… I knew you were well-off, obviously … I just didn’t know how rich you were.” 

Jinwoo snorted. “This is the family’s house Seungyoon. I didn’t buy all this stuff, I just inherited it.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Seungyoon wasn’t meeting his eyes anymore. Suddenly, Jinwoo felt like they were back at the beginning of their relationship, when Seungyoon had a million walls built around him that Jinwoo had to work to get through. 

“Seungyoon?”

“Hmmm?”

Jinwoo opened his mouth, wanting to put words to the feeling constricting his chest. But all that came out was, “Are you ready to go?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will finish this I swear I will. I have been blocked for so long, this is the first non-academic thing I have written in ages. I am trying not to freak out over my shitty writing so small steps, yeah? Anyway thank you everyone for waiting and for the kudos. I will make this up to you. Also Seunghoon and Mino may make an appearance soon.


	6. Espionage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing about organized crime

Seungyoon hated himself for freaking out.

He had done jobs like this before. Mild espionage for some gang was nothing to him. Used to be nothing to him.

He used to do things like this all the time… and then Jinwoo came along.

Seungyoon didn’t even realize he was doing it but after Jinwoo more or less moved in, he started gravitating away from the gang-related jobs. He avoided his usual contacts and stuck to crimes he could pull off on his own. But even those left him feeling sick.

It was guilt. Guilt that rose up like bile in his chest every time he came home with stolen money. Guilt that wrapped itself around his throat, robbing him of air so he could never say anything back when Jinwoo murmured confessions of love into his skin. Jinwoo never seemed to mind that he couldn’t say it back. He said it often enough for the both of them.

Seungyoon didn’t deserve him.

If he didn’t know it before, he definitely knew it after seeing Jinwoo’s palace. Or mansion or whatever.

This man was educated. He was raised with a family and pets and love. He wrote for living and lived for the writing. He was selfless and gave as much money away as he made. And he was completely out of Seungyoon’s league. Seungyoon felt like he was corrupting him.

No, Seungyoon can’t tell Jinwoo that he loves him. He shouldn’t love him. He has to stop loving him.  

So, he went back to doing grunt work for gangs. Stealing information using whatever means he had to. Maybe the guilt will drive him to throw Jinwoo out so maybe he would be able to live with himself again. Or maybe Jinwoo will finally realize that Seungyoon was nothing but the scum of society, undeserving of the pure love that shone through his beautiful eyes.

Seungyoon stopped at the door of the hotel, taking a deep breath to calm himself. The Windsor was the classiest hotel in the city but it was owned by one of the most powerful gang families Seoul has ever seen. Power brings rivals and envy. And power and envy use people like Seungyoon to do their dirty work.

Seungyoon was supposed to steal information on the next business venture the Lee family was planning. The rival families had banded together, uniting against the Lee family and they had told Seungyoon to use whatever means possible to get them the information they needed.

I can do this, he told himself. He bounded up the steps of the hotel, hardly sparing a glance for the guards at the door. The secret to blending in was to stay in plain sight, acting like everyone else. And so Seungyoon did.

He bustled through the door, smoothly pick pocketing the key card of a guest who was rushing the other way and replacing it with a dud he prepared earlier. The guest won’t think much of it, hotel key cards spoil all the time. Now, Seungyoon had unlimited access to the hotels facilities, he could go where ever he wanted to. He was a guest after all.

Languidly approaching the reception desk, Seungyoon flashed the receptionist his most winning smile. “Hello, I am here in town on a business trip and I just happened to hear that Lee Seunghoon was also in this hotel? Could you help a guy out and tell him where to find a long-lost friend?” While talking, Seungyoon noted an array of screens beside the receptionist, displaying camera feeds from various parts of the hotel.

The receptionist smiled at him coldly, “Mr. Lee doesn’t like disclosing his whereabouts to strangers … long lost though they may be.” Seungyoon smiled, undeterred.

“Of course, he is an important man. Maybe I will bump into him somewhere in the hotel.” The receptionist shifted nervously, their eyes flicking towards of the screens. The board room, Seungyoon noted.

“Only guests can use hotel facilities, sir.”

“And a guest, I am,” Seungyoon waved the key card he held between his fingers. “Thank you for your assistance.”

He left the receptionist staring uneasily at his back and adrenaline coursing through his veins. All he had done was talk but Seungyoon could feel his heart hammering in his chest. There was a time when he would have pulled the whole job off smoothly, without breaking a sweat. But he was out of practice.

He made mistakes when he was out practice.

***

 He was in the board room, with an apron tied around his waist and Jinwoo’s dinner jacket stuffed somewhere safe. It had been easy to replace one of the wait staff. He just went up to the one who looked most apathetic and made up an excuse about the boss needing him somewhere else. And just like that, he was in.

The Lee family representative, their only son Seunghoon, was giving a presentation to a bunch of suits. Seungyoon could care less about the presentation or the suits but he made himself pay attention. They wanted to start a massage parlor of sorts in the heart of Seoul, which would be a front for gang activities and a brothel of sorts. It was easy for Seungyoon to remember all the facts, he might not have made a fantastic student but he was sharp. Keeping his cover wasn’t too hard either, the suits were too distracted by the possibility of fat stacks of cash to pay a waiter an attention.

But Seungyoon was still nervous. Seunghoon may not be his old friend but Seungyoon had still heard of him. He knew that Seunghoon had an unwavering loyalty to his family and was ruthless. Even now he could feel Seunghoon’s intense gaze sweeping the room, the most alert person there.

When he had a chance Seungyoon excused himself, making his way to the restroom. His phone had two messages, one from the people he hired, asking for an update. He sent them all the information he collected, texting as fast as humanly possible.

Hopefully I get out of here now, Seungyoon sighed, resting his head against the pristine walls of the toilet. This had been draining and all he wanted was to go home. He opened the other unread message on his phone, guilt and love filling his chest.

_Hey, I hope everything’s going okay. I love you – KJW_

I don’t deserve your love, Seungyoon reminded himself, a heavy ache in his heart. He was about to send back a quick reply when his phone vibrated. He opened the message from his bosses.

_Get physical proof of the plans – X_

Seungyoon stared at the message, feeling himself going numb. The easiest way to get physical proof was the paperwork he had seen Seunghoon tucking into his briefcase. He needed to get to that briefcase.

Which meant he couldn’t go home just yet.

Seungyoon resisted the urge to punch something. I hate this. I hate myself for doing this.

He left to go dig up Jinwoo’s jacket from its hiding place.

***

The bar was almost empty save for Lee Seunghoon at one end, a whisky in hand. He looked every bit as regal as a real prince would look, no one would ever think he was the heir to Seoul’s largest crime syndicate.

Seungyoon approached him slowly. When he went back to the board room, the meeting had already finished and Seunghoon had sent the briefcase up to his room. Now Seungyoon had to find a way up there and something told it wasn’t going to be as simple as pick-pocketing a key card this time.

“Hello,” Seungyoon said conversationally, slipping into the seat next to Seunghoon. The other man looked up slowly, almost as though he can’t believe someone dared to approach him.

“What are you doing,” he replied flatly.

“Making conversation. You look like you need some,” Seungyoon was playing up all of his charms, a slight smirk on his lips as he leaned closer to the other man. Seunghoon did not move away, his dark eyes boring into Seungyoon’s own, as intense as it was earlier.

“What’s the point,” Seunghoon glared down at his whisky “Talking about my problems isn’t going to make things go away.”

He was drunk, Seungyoon realized in surprise. Maybe this was going to be easier than he thought. He looked Seunghoon over and decided that his key card was probably going to be in jacket pocket. Seunghoon caught him looking and smiled suddenly. It was a brilliant smile and Seungyoon’s heart would have fluttered if he hadn’t been so surprised.

“Like what you see?” Seunghoon leaned in so close, Seungyoon could smell his whisky tinged breath. “I’ll have you know I am a taken man.”

Seungyoon nodded, plans rushing through his head as he tried to decide on his next move. If Seunghoon wasn’t so inebriated, his cover would have been blown for sure.

“Actually, I’m not taken anymore.” Seunghoon continued, not seeming to care if Seungyoon gave a reaction. “He broke up with me. Called me scum, can you believe it?”

Seungyoon decided the best thing to do was to play the sympathy card. “You? Scum? Is he blind? He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

Seunghoon threw his head back and laughed. “That’s a nice sentiment. I agree with him though. I am absolute scum. He deserves so much more than me.”

His words paused the rush of thoughts in Seungyoon’s head. He looked Seunghoon right in the eye as he said, “I know how that feels. It hurts… it’s like you are poisoning the person you love just by being with them.”

There was a moment when they were both simply looking into each other’s eyes before Seunghoon closed the distance, pressing his lips to Seungyoon’s. The kiss was searing hot and intense, Seunghoon kissed like it was the last thing he was ever going to do. Seungyoon kissed back, his hands roaming around Seunghoon’s body, searching for the little plastic card he needed to end all of this.

Whatever means possible, he told himself. Seunghoon pressed against him harder, his tongue moving against Seungyoon’s own. Jinwoo’s bright, doe-shaped eyes came to mind and Seungyoon had to push Seunghoon away, choking back a sob. Seunghoon did not seem to notice, as he ran a hand through Seungyoon’s hair and nuzzled his neck.

“Was that good?” he whispered against Seungyoon’s skin.

“Yes.” He still hadn’t found the card.

“Do you want to go upstairs?”

“Yes”

Whatever means possible, Seungyoon reminded himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be tagging 2Seung on this fic because the 2Seung tag deserves better


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